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Attachment theory dating


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How to Change Your Attachment Style

The objective of this essay is to provide a brief overview of the history of adult attachment research, the key theoretical ideas, and a sampling of some of the research findings. This essay has been written for people who are interested in learning more about research on adult attachment. Bowlby's Theory of Attachment The theory of attachment was originally developed by John Bowlby - , a British psychoanalyst who was attempting to understand the intense distress experienced by infants who had been separated from their parents. Bowlby observed that separated infants would go to extraordinary lengths e. At the time of Bowlby's initial writings, psychoanalytic writers held that these expressions were manifestations of immature defense mechanisms that were operating to repress emotional pain, but Bowlby noted that such expressions are common to a wide variety of mammalian species, and speculated that these behaviors may serve an evolutionary function. Drawing on ethological theory, Bowlby postulated that these attachment behaviors, such as crying and searching, were adaptive responses to separation from a primary attachment figure--someone who provides support, protection, and care.

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And why are some people the insanely jealous type — always insecure and anxious — while still others are incredibly secure and carefree in relationships? Much of this can be explained by the Attachment Theory. Everyone falls into an attachment category, though it falls along a spectrum. For example, you may be secure with anxious tendencies. Once you become aware of your patterns, you can become more cognizant of what you need to work on within relationships.

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Single or attached, long-time married or newly dating, you definitely want to know what attachment theory is all about. The resulting theory was later on extrapolated to adults, to account for the various ways we form relationships with others — friends and romantic partners. Our attachment style is predictable as it is based on that early model. Other factors, such as significant adult relationships and even genetics, can change your dominant type. More on that below. Attachment theory is just a really cool thing to be aware of in general.

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How attachment styles play out in your relationship Attachment styles can influence everything from who we are attracted to, how relationships develop, and even what can drive them to end. Your attachment style is formed in infancy but becomes a model upon which adult relationships are based. Breaking down the different attachment styles, we examine the ways in which they influence relationship blueprints and motivations. Having an insight into your own securities and insecurities can help improve the patterns in your dating life and safeguard your relationships in the long term too. Your attachment style is a pervasive feature in your engagement approach with the people around you.

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