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Fear of intimacy among dating couples

Lizzy Greene

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26 years old

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About

Fear of intimacy among dating couples.

As a therapist, I often hear couples complain that whenever one partner tries to get close, the other pulls away. Many people have developed defenses that make them intolerant of too much love, attention or affection. Our personal limitations and insecurities are regularly acted out in our closest relationships. Very often, our current reactions especially our overreactions are based on negative programming from our past. In this blog, I want to offer a few ways to work on overcoming a fear of intimacy that may exist in our partners and even in ourselves: Too often, we build a case against the people we are involved with. We use their flaws against them, cataloging their shortcomings in our minds until admiration slowly erodes into cynicism.

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Dating someone with a fear of intimacy can make you feel as though you're in a state of constant rejection. It can be painful to love someone who reacts defensively to being shown love, particularly someone too guarded to open up about fears. Identify the Source The key to overcoming a fear of intimacy, whether your own or your partner's, is to find out and understand where this fear is coming from. Paradoxically, most people who fear emotional intimacy are really afraid of rejection, according to Margaret Paul, Ph.

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Symptoms[ edit ] People with this fear are anxious about or afraid of intimate relationships. They believe that they do not deserve love or support from others. This test can determine this level even if the individual is not in a relationship. It was found by Doi and Thelen that FIS correlated positively with confidence in the dependability of others and fear of abandonment while correlating negatively with comfort and closeness. Among women[ edit ] A study conducted by Reis and Grenyer found that women with depression have much higher levels of fear of intimacy. Sherman and Tiffany S.

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Fear of intimacy

While there are times when we are aware of actually being apprehensive and distrusting of love, we are more likely to identify these fears as concern over potentially negative outcomes: However, our fear of intimacy is often triggered by positive emotions even more than negative ones. The problem is that the positive way a lover sees us often conflicts with the negative ways we view ourselves. Sadly, we hold on to our negative self-attitudes and are resistant to being seen differently. Because it is difficult for us to allow the reality of being loved to affect our basic image of ourselves, we often build up a resistance to love.

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