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Unrequited love psychology

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Unrequited: Women & Romantic Obsession

You've probably tried that too, right? Whether it is a high school crush, admiration for a co-worker, or new feelings for a close friend, unrequited love often dies because most of us realize that we will likely not get the results we want, so we move on. Only, sometimes we don't. Or, we have a hard time moving on. There are times when unrequited love can really affect your perception of the world and yourself and thus your self-esteem and your entire life experience. Unreturned love can be consuming, crippling, and actually hinder your ability to live your life. Realizing that your feelings are not reciprocated can be hurtful, frustrating, or may even make you angry. Well, it may be hard, but you can overcome, and you will reach a point where you look back with much greater understanding and revelation. This self improvement article aims to help you with that. Natural Resistance to Change in Your One Way Love Life You may not yet be in an emotional place where you want help or change or personal development in the area of your one way love.

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Phillips discusses the interesting psychology behind unrequited love in Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession. Phillips, a journalist and journalism professor at the State University of New York-New Paltz, incorporates personal narrative, interviews, history, scientific research and evolutionary psychology to illustrate her premise. Though Phillips does explain the underpinnings and consequences of romantic obsession, she also highlights the positive facets of unrequited love. Unrequited love embodies the potential for new life and possibility; the desire to resolve internal struggles; a platform to learn about yourself more than anything else. In one chapter, Phillips dissects the essence of a romantic crush.

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Roy Baumeister , what makes a man or woman desirable, of course, is a complex and highly personal mix of many qualities and traits. But falling for someone who is much more desirable than oneself, whether because of physical beauty or attributes like charm, intelligence, wit or status, Baumeister calls this kind of mismatch "prone to find their love unrequited" and that such relationships are falling upward. This creates an awkward situation in which the admirer has difficulty in expressing their true feelings, a fear that revelation of feelings might invite rejection, cause embarrassment or might end all access to the beloved, as a romantic relationship may be inconsistent with the existing association. Unrequited love victims[ edit ] The inability of the unrequited lover to express or declare their love leads to negative feelings such as depression , low self-esteem , anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. Rejectors[ edit ] 'There are two bad sides to unrequited love, but only one is made familiar by our culture' [8] — that of the lover, not the rejector.

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Unrequited love


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